Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
