quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
