I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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