there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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