Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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