My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I think I sprained my soul last night
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
