Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
