I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
