i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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