Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I am spending my child support on dildos
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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