no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
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Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You don't make any sense
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