Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
