he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
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