Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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