My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
