I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
