I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
