would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
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i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
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You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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