i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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