It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
