no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
This girl is more easily done than said...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
