would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
