I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
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