If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
