Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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