Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
