i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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