I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
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no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
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We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."