the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just invented taco cereal.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.