Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
