I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
