my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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