Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
