Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
