He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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