Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
