apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
