I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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