once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
