some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Life is so much better after having sex.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
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