his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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