Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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