I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
