I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
