i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
