so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
