Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize