I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
