is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
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I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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