So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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