Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
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