I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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