We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize