so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You were trust falling into bushes
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
