I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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