You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
