We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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