the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I wish you could order shots online.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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