then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Banned from zoo.
Again?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
