drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Is it because I queefed?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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